Lesbian advice? Mother approved girlfriend…?

Question by FersureRaven[:: Lesbian advice? Mother approved girlfriend…?
I am head over heels in love.
Yes, cheesy teenage love.
The best kind, right?
Right.
She’s seventeen, a nurse in training, and a dream come true.
My mom doesn’t really agree though.
I haven’t told her how much my mom really hates her.
I’m afraid to, I’d rather my mother not scare off my first love.
Everyone knows their first love is unforgettable.
The butterflies that are so strong you feel like you’re twenty feet in the air.
Every word leaves you begging for me. Every kiss makes your heart do back flips.
& when you say forever, each of you completely believe it with your whole heart.
Well, it’s exactly that cliche 1st love deal.
I wish my mom would just understand that…
She doesn’t approve of me being a lesbian, I understand fully.
It’s a hard thing to grasp when you’re raised a certain way.
but…
I’ve been with my girlfriend for five months tomorrow/ (the 4th)
How can I help my mom understand where I’m coming from?
I just don’t know what to do anymore, I’m out of ideas.

Best answer:

Answer by Rock The Disco!
“mom i luv yuhh to death and i value yur opinions and advice cuz i know ur only trying to look out for me, but i rlly luv this girl. i rlly luv yuhh too but im cant go off and break my heart as well as hers just to satisfy you. ofcourse i like to see you happy, but for once im happy as well. and it hurts that you cant accept it the way it is”

hope it works for yu :]

xx

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Comments

If I were you, I’d talk to your mother. Tell her that you were born this way and that even if you wanted to, you can’t change it. Tell her you really want her support because it would mean a lot, and tell her you don’t want to disappoint her but you really can’t change this about yourself. Also try pflag.org I think they have stuff for parents to read and stuff.

Happy anniversary. Just remember that your Mom might be critical of a boyfriend, too…its a Mom thing to worry that no one is good enough for their daughter.
I”ve also found that Mom’s, being older, have a different concept of time than you do at 17 or so.
If you are still as in love after a year has gone by—I predict your Mom will come around.
Some Moms have the notion that the “other woman” is the evil Lesbian who “converted” or “seduced” their innocent unwilling little girl. They get over it. Keeping these two parts of your life separate may serve you and your girlfriend best at this time.
Mom will keep loving you, and will eventually accept your choices and loves. but, thinking that you can “persuade” your Mom verbally is a typical young person’s approach to a problem. Gentle, gentle, she can’t help but worry about you. Nor will she be able to resist seeing you happy. Give it time.

I’m from a strict catholic family and my mum was upset when she found out about me, but I don’t think it really hit her that ‘no REALLY i REALLY like girls’ until I brought my girlfriend home.
After that she got extremely upset for ages, and tried to assert some completely unreasonable rules for when my gf was allowed to come over, and where she had to stay etc. I kept getting the “I’m sure she’s a very nice girl, but…” speech.

However, in the end she began talking and engaging with my gf and found out that she actually had a heap in common with her. Now they get along like a house on fire, though Mum would still prefer if I was with a guy. Given the chance, she’d adopt my gf in my place as her daughter I think! haha.

Your Mum just needs time to really adjust to not just knowing that you like girls, but seeing it right in front of her eyes. At first she’ll probably get upset with every hug but eventually i think there comes a point where she will realise just how much this girl means to you, and back off a bit. Good luck!

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