Q&A: Does my boyfriend still find me sexually attractive?

by mind on fire

Question by Rachel: Does my boyfriend still find me sexually attractive?
I don’t know how to ask this because personally I’m at a loss. Here it goes; I want sex more than my boyfriend and its driving me crazy. I don’t know what to do, and I would love love LOVE some input.
First let me explain,
(Sorry in advance I feel like I need to explain to fully give the circumstance)
We met almost 3 years ago, and since he has always been on my mind (he was in a serious relationship at the time), that day I met a “friend” of his too, 2 weeks after meeting I was dating his friend. We never really spoke and I was sure he didn’t like me, apparently his gf at the time was a huge B and didn’t like me so it hithered our interaction.
I dated his friend for a little bit over a year and it ended horribly. Then around holiday time we got together.
A little bit about my sexual history: I am very sexually driven. I’ve had serious relationships with ton a sex involved, (but it was never just about the sex) I was used to having sex at least 5 days a week, not to mention multiple times a day.
Well…. we have been together now for 9 months and we both just turned 21. For the first 7 months of our relationship I was working 40 hrs a week, sometimes to 11 pm daily. It was a very fast paced job even then I’d stay up till the wee hours to have sex (even though drained)
2.5 months ago we moved to arkansas for a job opportunity for him and I’m currently unemployed. He works on average 30-40 hrs a week being a car porter/installer. Sometimes it can be hard work, but other times there’s nothing to do at the shop so his workload varies.
I on the otherhand stay home all day, clean, and watch family guy. Nothing to exciting.
Ever since we’ve moved down here I have been crazed with the need of sex. It is so bad that I attack his loins, playfully*
When I do “put on the charm” so to speak, he calls me a nymph and asks me to stop. After about 15 mins of me trying to “seduce” him he gets aggrivated and huffs and puffs and then we have sex.
I think in a avg month he initiates it 1 time a month. I don’t know if they’re is something wrong with me, I feel like it burdens him to have sex with me. I’ve never had to beg a previous bf to get it on, ever! I’m so lost. I ask if he’s still sexually attracted to me and he says “yes”. His main reasons for the “lack”, is he’s tired, or he doesn’t need sex to be happy with me. He swears he loves me and wants to be with me, we’ve talked about this many times but it doesn’t change.
To make matters worse he finishes fast and isn’t capable of a 2nd round. I have a vibrator but he is in my terms “intimidated” by it. He swears that he’s never been this sensitive before and we have even bought the extended pleasure condoms,but still bustin early. In all fairness before me his other gfs blew in bed, and he could count the amount of sex on 2 hands…. combined.
He is caring, loving, awesome, just an all around dream. I’ve wanted him since I met him and now he’s with me 🙂
In plain: I love him
I gave up my job, moved 1000 miles away from home, friends and family just so he could have a better opportunity. I don’t know if I’m being selfish with my needs or if he just plain doesn’t need those “needs”. He says (and I believe him) that he loves my body and wants to see it more and that he couldn’t love the sex we have more, but why is that I’m the one with it constantly on my mind? He makes jabs like, he can’t satisfy me. He says that I just feel too good for him to last. He tries to hold it but BOOM canon fire!

….. I hope this all makes sense, as you probably see I’m in a bind and don’t know who to turn to.
He’s a perfect boyfriend the best I’ve ever had and so he says about me. Should I back off?
Should I get a hobby?
A job is out of the question atm, but is it because I’m bored and used to a fast life style?
Blahh, people I need help. I’m alone in a new state with no one to talk to, and I feel like the public could give me some incite without being bias.
Oh I should add he’s very mature for his age, he’s says I’m the one forever.
I’m not naive
I understand boys well
But he’s unlike any I’ve ever incountered, everything is fine but this.
Atm he is tossing and turning in bed bc he thinks the problem is” that he won’t sleep with me every night”
To me its so much more

Best answer:

Answer by Ronald
wow…nothing wrong with you but him, me and my girlfriend have sex everyday of the week and sometimes multiple times on any given day, sounds like he may not be intrested sexually in you and is wanting something else? im not sure..its weird how us guys think but wow i feel bad for you..just kinda weird

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Blecj sister, you must be feeling awful. I have a fairly hight sex drive myself (not as high as yours though) I can understand how you feel. I think he has a low sex drive. This problem probably embarrasses him and he has no idea how to talk about it with you.

Ask him to write you a letter or make a video saying all the things about what the problem is. All the things he cannot say when you are standing in front of him. You could also do the back against back thing. You can hear each other, but aren’t looking at each other.

Also ask him if he really does love you (though I’m sure you have) and let him know that he must not feel compelled to say yes, just cause he feels guilty cause you moved for him.

He could also be suffering from premature ejaculation. He is young (21?) he won’t have the emotional maturity to tell you how he feels. i know you also 21, but it is different for girls.

I wish I could be around to help yo. I’m sorry you have to go through this on your own.

You might trying to keep peace between you two, but maybe your best option is to just make him talk about it even if it means fighting. Atleast you’ll have answers.

I wish I had an answer for you.

what ever you do, dont marry, or else you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life, I know alot of females like you, so much energy, bf’s are duds, maybe you need to move a little further South ,a man should never be too tired for sex with his woman, sex revitalises the body you really do need help, there is nothing wrong with being a nympho, most men would die to be in his shoes

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